Let Me Count the Ways

This is a true testament to how much I adore my children. I can tell you point blank that there is nothing else on God's green earth that would ever convince me to come within a 10 foot radius of this lovely.

It was on the back deck and instead of taking shelter indoors as any sensible person would do, I ran into the garage, grabbed the bug jar and a sheet of paper, said a prayer and went outside. 

Look at this thing! Bleck!

it is freaking huge!

C checking it out

K, "I think it wants to look at me mom."

Now I feel like a zillion tiny things are crawling all over my skin. AGG! So gross.  

I love my kids...I love my kids....I love my kids...

Mystery Solved

I had the plumber out a couple of weeks ago. We're in a new house and I was convinced the toilet in the main bathroom was leaking.

They came in, added an extra wax ring, witnessed L's worst diaper explosion to date, and left. Since then the problem seemed to be solved.

And then I woke up this morning to C's wet socks in my bed and the realization that my toilet was not leaking at all.

Apparently my kids just can't aim.

Happy Monday!

Still Got It

Do you ever have those moments when you forget, if only for a second, that you are a frumpy, mother-of-3, house wife and remember the days when you were hot? I mean, not that I was ever really "hot", but I used to get checked out, even hit on on occasion. Yes, its been a long time, but it did happen.

On Thursday we had a plumber out to fix a leaky toilet (with a set-up like that, you know the hotness is oozing in this story). Just as he was finishing up, L woke from her nap so I scooted upstairs, scooped her up and went back down. The plumber started to explain to me what he had fixed and why there was a problem. He was all "flanger" this and "wax seal" that, like I had a clue what he was talking about. In any case he was really staring at me, and I was thinking, "Yup, still got it". I had, as a matter of fact, actually fixed my hair that morning, and put on make up. I brushed my teeth and everything, real fancy like.

So I saw him out, and picked up the phone to call James when suddenly *sniff sniff* it hit me. The stink of fresh diaper, and I look down to see a Level 10 diaper disaster leaking clear from L's waist to her shoulders.

*sigh*

I should have known better. How super hot am I?

If I could put it in a pill

I remember as a kid listening to adults saying, "If I could find a way to put all that energy into a pill, I'd be rich". Har har har. I used to think it was so lame.

However.

Now that I'm a mom, I look at those kids and totally get the joke. K in particular drives me bananas. He is up at the crack of dawn and goes non-stop until he collapses at the end of the day. He's so inquisitive, which I think is great, but the constant "Mom, why do they call cowboys COWboys, and not HORSEboys?" "Mom, is my tooth going to fall out now?" "Mom, what do bees eat?" "Mom, when is my tooth going to fall out?" "Mom...MOM...MOM"

You get the point.

So what better way to burn off some extra energy than to go play soccer. Ah yes, 4 five year olds running back and forth, back and forth, back and forth across a giant field.

With, of course the occasional (ie every 3 minutes) water break. Yes, that will definitely burn off some excess energy.

Unless you don't read the bottle carefully. Because even though you read the ingredients you didn't read the label well enough.

Caffeine.

Crap...

Peepshow at the Rivett Household

Last week my pastor stopped by my house to drop something off. It was the middle of the afternoon, the boys were upstairs playing. I was chatting away while my visitor stood on the front steps. "How's your day going?" he asks. As I'm about to answer, K bursts down the stairs, waving and shouting "Hi! Hi!". I turn around in time to see him, wearing nothing but socks (mismatched) and underwear (on backwards of course, cause that's how he rolls). As I'm turing beet red, all I can muster in response is, "That about sums it up"

What's up with little boys and pants? I can't keep them on my kids. I thought it must be a guy thing, James has been known to do a lot of boxer only roaming (apologies to our neighbours who have likely caught this spectacle through our windows). But I've heard from my friend that she has the same issue with her daughter.

Even as I type this, K has once again stripped down to his undies. Oh, I hope this is a phase, can you imagine what my conversations with the teachers will sounds like?

Careful if you knock on my door, you never know what you're gonna see.

Another Mommy Moment

 I am seriously such a dork.  Sometimes I think I'm on a gag show, that Ashton Kutcher is going to jump out from behind a corner.

James and I have been doing a bit of house hunting (with not much luck, but that's another story). A few weekends ago we went to look at a bungalow in Cochrane. Nana and Pops were nice enough to watch K so that we only had C to lug along with us and he's usually pretty easy.

C's new thing is closing doors. He thinks its funny, and then he knocks so you'll let him out. Its actually pretty cute. So we're strolling through the basement, checking out the space, James and the realtor is looking at a workshop in the back, and C starts playing with the bathroom door. He closes it, I open it, he laughs. He closes it, I open it, he laughs. He closes it, I....uh-oh. Its locked.

Yep. I just let my 20 month old lock himself into the bathroom of a house we don't own or know the owners. Nice.

He's laughing, and knocking, and flushing the toilet, and I'm deciding whether to be panicked, or mortified, or a little of both.

Luckily James is an ace at opening locked doors with the inside of a ballpoint pen.

The whole situation lasted about 2 minutes. But the shame will last forever.