Ok Shan, This One's For You

Two weeks into the new year and despite my distaste for 'resolutions', I have been making a genuine effort at improving my lifestyle in 2010. One of those things that, whether I want to admit it or not, is that I would LOVE to drop these last 10 pounds of baby weight (can I even still call it baby weight 19 months later!?).

I was talking to my cousin yesterday, who has done an amazing job at prioritizing herself and has lost (and kept off) a lot of weight in the past few years. She might not be where she wants to be, but she's always moving in the right direction. She started a new program this year, and one of the first things they ask you to do is to take a "before" picture of yourself in your underwear. She told me that she was going to take a picture, but would only wear a full bathing suit, not underwear. I objected. This picture was for her and her alone, and there was no reason why she should have to hide from herself. Besides, it would be so satisfying to have that after shot, it would make all her efforts worthwhile. So yes, I opened my big mouth and objected, and to that Shannon said, "will you take one?"

Shoot, didn't expect that. After all, I'm not the one starting the program, I have no book telling me to do this exercise...how did I get dragged into this mess?!?!  What should I do? The only thing I could do, as an act of support I said I would take a picture too (deep breaths...no one will see it).

So Shan, I did it. I stood in my skivvies and let my new mac take two pics, one from the front, one from the side. And...it sucked. However, it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated it to be. This exercise in self esteem made me reflect on my body image as a whole. Truth be told, whatever my weight has been, the only time I ever like my body is in hindsight. When I was a size 4 I felt the same way about myself as I do now. There is a whole new movement focused on helping women learn to love how they look, for the Dove Self-Esteem Fund, to show's like, "How to Look Good Naked", and I think I'm gonna jump on that bandwagon instead of all the other stuff floating around designed to make us feel bad and buy more stuff.

What I'm taking from this is that whether I strive to become healthier or not, I have to focus on my only resolution this year, which was changing my perception. Fat or thin, I've earned every pound, and those ten pounds of baby weight was definately a good trade off.

So there you go Shannon, a public admission to a hard exercise. This one is for you!