Where's The Sparkle?

Life has been hectic and I've been neglecting my blog. Despite drowning in laundry and a work to-do list a mile long, I am determined to get back into the swing of things. I love blogging because it helps me to remember the little moments that I would otherwise forget, and it reminds me to have a sense of humour in some of life's less-than-funny moments.

A few weeks ago I was able to sneak away for a night out with a friend. We went to see Sex and the City 2, here in Cochrane.  I'm not a die hard fan of the series (I just watched the first movie a week earlier), but I'll admit this one had me chuckling. Carrie Bradshaw has finally settled down with Big, and throughout the movie she's focused on her relationship, has it gone stale? Are they old and boring? Had marriage caused them to lose their sparkle?

It was a typical chick flick, had a few laughs, some romantic moments. I enjoyed myself, after all, a lot of it is true. Mortgage, kids, you do lose some of the romance and excitement that was there when you were just dating (at least I think there was romance and excitement...its been awhile). But we're not that bad. We still make each other laugh, we do on occassion dress up and go out. We haven't lost our sparkle. 

Then I get a text message. I kid you not, this is how it went:

james: im hungry
stacey: Good for you
james: all i need now is you holding my right hand, and a burger in my left!!!

Really, how much more romantic could we get? Eat your heart out Carrie!

Why Clean When You Can Bake?

Forget Fabreeze, throw away the air fresheners and incense, NOTHING makes a house smell better than fresh baked banana bread. All modesty aside, I make the yummiest banana bread around. Inspired by some great banana bread my girlfriend Karma had for us a few weeks back, I decided to crack out my Grandma’s old recipe book and with a few small modifications, I have a recipe the whole family loves (including James, who despite being a human garberator absolutely hates banana bread, but loves this one). So here you go, hope you try it!

Banana Loaf:

• 1/4 cup margerine
• 1 cup sugar
• 1/4 cup chocolate chips (original recipe calls for nuts…but since thats a no go, we do chocolate instead!)
• 1 egg
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1 1/2 cups flour
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 3 ripe bananas
• pinch salt

Cream margerine and sugar: combine remaining ingredients. Place into a greased and floured loaf pan. Bake at 350 F for 45-60 minutes.

I like to also sprinkle a bit of the sugar and cinnamon onto the top of the loaf, when it bakes it becomes this beautiful crunchy top to the loaf. Forget bread, as James says, this is more like banana cake. Yum!

Peepshow at the Rivett Household

Last week my pastor stopped by my house to drop something off. It was the middle of the afternoon, the boys were upstairs playing. I was chatting away while my visitor stood on the front steps. "How's your day going?" he asks. As I'm about to answer, K bursts down the stairs, waving and shouting "Hi! Hi!". I turn around in time to see him, wearing nothing but socks (mismatched) and underwear (on backwards of course, cause that's how he rolls). As I'm turing beet red, all I can muster in response is, "That about sums it up"

What's up with little boys and pants? I can't keep them on my kids. I thought it must be a guy thing, James has been known to do a lot of boxer only roaming (apologies to our neighbours who have likely caught this spectacle through our windows). But I've heard from my friend that she has the same issue with her daughter.

Even as I type this, K has once again stripped down to his undies. Oh, I hope this is a phase, can you imagine what my conversations with the teachers will sounds like?

Careful if you knock on my door, you never know what you're gonna see.

The (other) Ring (aka. K to the Rescue)

What is wrong with me?

Yesterday we had a busy day. We had church first thing, then two showings, dinner at mom's, and offer on the house...it was crazy. It started out feeling rushed.

8:00am: Up, shower, get kids and us dressed.
8:30am: Everyone in truck, drive to church
11:00am: Service finished, back home to clean
11:30am: Feed kidlets
11:45am: Kidlets to playground while Jimmy cleans up
12:30pm: Out of house for showings, Realtors calls with counteroffer on house (this has been in negotiation since Saturday at 2pm)
1:00pm: Out to Cochrane with dogs and boys in tow to check out spec home
3:00pm: Negotiating with Realtors
3:30pm: Dinner at Nana and Pops
4:30pm: Home to sign contracts on our house....but
4:45pm: Problem with deal, realtors go to fix...we wait
5:45pm: Problems fixed, contract signed
6:30pm: My engagement ring is lost


All the excitement about the home  selling comes to an abrupt halt when I realise I have lost my engagement ring...and possibly my mind.

Since the house is on the market we had taken all my nice jewellery out of the house with the exception of my engagement ring, which is all I wear now since I nearly lost a finger due to my absent mindedness. I don't really take it off unless I'm showering or doing dirty work, which I did on Saturday night. I was working with chicken and I took it off not wanting to get it full of chicken slime. I didn't even realize I hadn't put it back on until mid afternoon.

James had cleaned the house, and he hadn't remembered seeing it. And I didn't remember putting it back on after the chicken mess. So I'm panicking. I have gone through drawers, dug through garbage bags with chicken guts (gagging all the way), crawled on the floors, looked in pockets, and in laundry piles, in my purse, in the bathroom, EVERYWHERE. Its gone. And all I can think is that we did have two couples through the house.

Could people really be that awful. If you saw a nice ring on a counter, and no one was watching, would you grab it?

I hope not, but I've heard worse.

I'm crying, my sweet K is saying, "Its okay Mommy, we all feel a little nervous sometimes. We'll find your ring."

By the end of the night I've resigned myself to the fact that I've lost my ring, that some evil-doer has swiped it and am seriously considering tattooing a ring on my finger since I am clearly not destined to wear a ring.

At the crack of dawn, K comes into my room, pops on the lights and runs to my bed, "Mommy, I have to tell you something"
Me: "*Grumble*...(incoherent half asleep ramblings)"
K: "Mommy, look, I was tricking you and playing with my trains, and I looked, and there was your wedding ring"

And there it was. My ring. A kidlet (either mine or one of our passer-throughs yesterday) must have grabbed it off a counter and played with it and left it in the middle of K's train set. Best early morning wake up ever.

K you're my hero!

Another Mommy Moment

 I am seriously such a dork.  Sometimes I think I'm on a gag show, that Ashton Kutcher is going to jump out from behind a corner.

James and I have been doing a bit of house hunting (with not much luck, but that's another story). A few weekends ago we went to look at a bungalow in Cochrane. Nana and Pops were nice enough to watch K so that we only had C to lug along with us and he's usually pretty easy.

C's new thing is closing doors. He thinks its funny, and then he knocks so you'll let him out. Its actually pretty cute. So we're strolling through the basement, checking out the space, James and the realtor is looking at a workshop in the back, and C starts playing with the bathroom door. He closes it, I open it, he laughs. He closes it, I open it, he laughs. He closes it, I....uh-oh. Its locked.

Yep. I just let my 20 month old lock himself into the bathroom of a house we don't own or know the owners. Nice.

He's laughing, and knocking, and flushing the toilet, and I'm deciding whether to be panicked, or mortified, or a little of both.

Luckily James is an ace at opening locked doors with the inside of a ballpoint pen.

The whole situation lasted about 2 minutes. But the shame will last forever.

Who the Blog Am I?

I am struggling to find my blogging identity. Having a mid blog crisis.

OK, I'm a geek, totally thought that was funny.

But if anyone is actually reading this, you will have noticed the constant changing of my background. I'm like an aingst ridden teenager, desperately trying to find themselves, one day I'm a girly girl, the next I'm emo  (ok, caught me, like I even know what emo is, I'm so lame). I like the 'minimilist' look, but really that's just being dishonest with you all because I am not a minimilist kinda girl. I love the grunge look, but I'm still girly at heart, I'm a mommy, but the cartoon thing is taking it too far, its like a blog wearing mommy jeans.

Obviously my life is very hard when this is the issue of the day.

The point is I can't seem to settle on my background. So bear with me, maybe this one will stick. Some input would be appreciated.

Blowing Kisses

Did you ever read the book Strega Nona by Tomie dePaola? Growing up it was definatly one of my favorites. Its the story of a good italian witch, Strega Nona, who hires a guy from town to help her around her house. One night Big Anthony (the helper) overhears an amazing thing. Strega Nona sings a song and her enchanted pasta pot starts to fill with boiling pasta. When she has enough, she sings another song and the pot stops. Big Anthony thinks this is amazing, and to show off to the people of the town, one night when Strega Nona is away, he sings the song and the pot begins to fill. Everyone in the town comes to share in the pasta, they eat and eat and the pot keeps filling and they are all amazed. When they finally have had their fill Anthony sang the song, but the pot kept filling. See, the problem was that Big Anthony only heard was Strega Nona was doing, but he didn't see that she blew 3 kisses to the pot to make it stop. Without those kisses, the pot just kept boiling. It boiled and boiled until it filled the house, and ran down the hill, and it almost destroyed the whole town. At the last moment, Strega Nona comes home and stops that pot.

Great story.

So why am I telling you this story? Well, I'm convinced that someone has sang that magical song to my laundry pile, and neglected to blow those kisses.

My laundry is out of control. Its taking over my house.

Help!

A Moment With K

I'm sure most parents feel the same way, but I think K and C are hilarious. Even though C isn't talking much he still manages to make me laugh. The other day he was eating yogurt, feeding himself. Each bite he took he'd get some yogurt on his face, so after removing the spoon from his mouth he would scrape the sides of his mouth with the spoon to capture any excess, exactly like I do. Then he'd grab a wet face cloth and carefully wipe his face, only to repeat the process again with the next bite. It was so funny watching him, he was so proud of himself, my clean boy.

K just says the funniest things. I keep telling myself I need to write things down because in our hectic days, I tend to forget what it was that made me smile.

On Wednesday we were heading to swimming lessons, and K was just chatting away in the back set. For the whole ride he was talking and singing and laughing, when all of a sudden he lets out a big sigh and says,

"Mommy, I think my batteries ran out"

What a nerd.

Fancy on a Budget

Once again we have our house on the market. I think we are insane. This is the second attempt at moving out of the city and after only a week we're almost ready to throw in the towel. Two preschoolers, two yappy dogs, a home based business...its practically impossible to keep the house in "showing" condition. I'm exhausted. Add to that a failed offer on a spec home ( I hate builders!!) and 25+ showings in the last week, did we really need to stress?

For a really long time James and I have been wanting a shift in lifestyle, to move somewhere with some real land and privacy and slower pace of life. Because James works out of the house, we spend a tonne of time here and although we love Tuscany, we also feel like we live in a fishbowl, everyone can see our yard, and we can see into a lot of windows (not that we try to, that sounds a bit more "peeping Tom-ish" than was intended. So, after flip-flopping for months on whether to make a go at it, we decided to take the plunge. Anyone want to make my life easier and buy my house? Check me out on mls.

A big part of this move plan was to try a reduce our mortgage. But, as we tend to lose focus, we're actually now starting to look at bigger homes on bigger lots, and hence, bigger budgets. So, since that is obviously not reaching our goals, we've really cracked down and created a budget. One that I think we can stick to, and I will blog about so that I'm held accountable.

The biggest cut to my spending is in the grocery budget. Is it just me or is it near-impossible to keep a shopping trip under $150? I really paid attention this week and managed to keep it to $125, but that meant cutting a lot of "fancy" treats and opting to make it myself. One of my favorite treats is cream cheese spreads. I LOVE the veggie cream cheese from the Great Canadian Bagel, but its oober expensive. So yesterday I made it myself. Who knew it was so easy and yummy! Here's what I did. I took about 125ml of light cream cheese, mixed in about 2T of cream of leek dry soup mix (Knorr), and added some shredded carrot, celery, and spinach. Its awesome. I think next I'll try a fruit one.

Fancy even on a budget.

Small Things

We take a lot of things for granted. Think back to our grandparents generation, washing laundry by hand, hanging to dry, boiling water for baths and dishes, yes we lead a comfortable life.

Our dishwasher broke down some time in November. It is the third time we've had to repair it in the five years we've owned it, and this time it was pricey. To fix the pump that broke would be $250. Ouch. When a new one is only $600 it seemed a waste to fix this one. I wanted a new one. James wanted to just fix it and save the money. So we waited, and weighed out pros and cons, and time passed.Something else was always more important, always the priority.

So for the past four months I've been handwashing all our dishes, and it never ceases to amaze me at the volume of dishes four people use on a daily basis. I remember as a kid my mom washing our dishes. The water was scalding! My fingers were burnt just thinking about touching the water and yet my mom was completely immune to the heat.

Well, after four months of perpetual dish washing, I've acquired those dishpan hands. And I'm not happy.

Dishwashing has become a large part of my day. I literally spend hours each day washing and drying dishes. And as soon as I've cleared that sink the very moment I've drained the last drop of water, someone will throw a new dirty dish into the sink. (Boo-hoo I know, my life is hard). So yesterday, FINALLY, we got the dishwasher fixed, and I am so thrilled.

Today I made lunch, and we ate and it was CLEAN. No half hour dish washing marathon, just threw everything into the dishwasher and off it went. *Sigh* I will never take it for granted again! Small things.

Selective Hearing?

Is it February already? Feels like that last few weeks have just been a blur. With playdates and school, swimming and church, we are always on the go. K is just abuzz with energy. From the minute he wakes to when he finally goes to bed, he is at a constant level ten. He's always so busy that most days I spend a huge chunk of my time repeating myself. "K, inside voice" "K, let's talk a little quieter", "K, stop yelling" "K...". We've had his hearing checked, I know he possesses the physical ability to interpret sound, but I think there is definatly a deficit, a "Selective Hearing" issue.

It may be genetic, his father possesses it too.

Today K is having a playdate with our neighbours little guy. They get along great, but if I think its crazy with just K, the energy level with a buddy is off the charts. They run, and shriek, play monsters and shout. When their caught up in their games, the selective hearing issue is more prominent than usual.

I was ease-dropping as they played on the stairs. K had gone upstairs and grabbed the story we read last night before bed. I use the term "read" quite loosely, because K's attention was really not on the book. In fact his inability to sit still for more than 5 seconds at a time had me seriously considering the possibility of ADHD. He was asking questions (unrelated to the story), telling random Thomas facts, wiggling adn wriggling, frankly I thought that I was reading for my own sake. But low and behold, today on the stairs, I listened to him recite the story to his friend, and very closely to how I had read it the night before. He even sang the song.

So it seems that perhaps he's not got a hearing deficit, or even ADHD. Perhaps he is actually an incredible multi-tasker. Either way, it was fantastic to realize that even in those moments when it seems I am talking to myself, it seems he is actually listening and (gasp) learning.

Very cool.

Attempting Haircuts: Proceed with Caution

This morning I cut C's hair. I always did K's hair, and did a decent job, until this year that is, when his baby hair made way to thicker, coarser hair. On Christmas Eve I attempted a haircut on him. Three "hacks" in and I realised that the game had changed. I was in no way qualified to do that job. Thank goodness Melonhead's was open. We did an emergency trip to the hairdresser and she thankfully was able to mend the mess I'd made. C's hair is still in that fine, baby hair mode. I did take him to Melondheads for his first real cut but with the amount he moves they weren't able to do a great job anyways.

So today I did it myself. Usually I just use scissors, but this time I decided to go for it and used a proper trimmer for the back. The problem is, he's so blonde that when you cut it short he looks bald. So now I fear I've gone too far and he's wound up with a military style shave, bald on the sides, short on the top. Oh dear.

To make matters worse, I keep finding little patches that aren't quite right, so I'm chasing him around the house like a mad women, trimmer in hand as he cries, "done done mommy". Poor kid.

Still my Baby

Well, my last post was on a not-so-good day. But since then, its been much better. No Mommy tantrums since then!

We had a busy weekend and successfully made over K's bedroom. When we first did his nursery we painted beige horizontal stripes of varying widths on the wall. It took forever, but looked great. We swore we'd never paint because it really was a tonne of work. But, four years later the walls were full of marks and dents, and it was time. It was definatly a bitter sweet moment, sanding down the stripes, putting up new paint. It was fresh and clean, I LOVE NEW PAINT, but it also felt a bit like I was admitting my baby was a baby no more. He loved his new "Thomas" room, but I'll admit its still a little hard to get used to.

I think we'll do C's room next. I'm thinking a soft green on top, and the same chocolate on the bottom, no border. James is in a hockey tourney this weekend, so we'll see how ambitious I am, and I guess how well the kids are behaving.

One of the big contributors to our bad days is that K, even though he's four, still naps. I hear of kids cutting their naps at 2, but its certainly not the case here. Particularly on school days, he's a mess by the time 4pm rolls around. We'll usually try to keep him up, feed him supper, throw him if the tub and lights out by 7pm. The problem with that is he's usually up at 5:30am the next morning ready to go.

Today was a good day. We had a rough start, C was up too early and was "crabby cakes" until he passed out for a nap at 11am. Despite that,the boys played nicely together all morning. They built trains, ate hungeets, held hands, play fought, it was sweet. K had school this afternoon, and promptly passed out on the couch when he got home.

Today was a good day.  Those "angelic" moments, watching them sleep, really helps make up for those other moments when they aren't so "angelic".  Its these moments that I take and breath and remember that as big as he may be, he really is still my baby.

Fine Print: Mommy Tantrums

We all have bad days. Its part of the contract:  unconditional love, heartmelting smiles, loads of adventures and new discoveries, screaming crying epic tantrums.

Yesterday was one of those days. It started out great, both the boys were all smiles for the morning. C napped with no fuss and K was my little buddy while we rearranged the furniture upstairs. When the time arrived for swim lessons, he was so excited that he begged James to come along. Despite his workload, James agreed and we all packed into the car and headed for the Y. Everything was going great, James dropped us at the entrance, K and I ran excitedly into the Y, into the changeroom, hurriedly got changed, dashed to the pool, and abruptly the mood shifted. K refused to get in the pool.

At first, no problem, we start all our 'group' adventures like this. K tends to be anxious, but he loves swimming, so "no worries," I tell myself "this will pass." Five minutes pass, and he'll sit on the edge of the pool, but won't get in. Ten minutes, still refusing. Twenty minutes, now class is almost over. Twenty-five minutes, all the kids are going down the slide, and K is still outside the pool. And I've been patient, I'm the only mom left standing by the pool instead of in the viewing area, and he's the only kid not participating. James is smiling at me through the viewing window. There's 5 minutes left and now I'm done being patient, so I tell K we're done and going to get changed.

And that's the moment. The moment when he goes to being a scared kid who's still endearing enough to get away with it, to the bratty kid who's throwing a fit and is old enough to know better. Now he wants to go in the water. Now he's crying because we have to leave.

Usually in this type of situation I would just scoop him up and go home. But he's wet, and in only a swim suit, so in this midst of his screaming and flailing I have to attempt to quickly get him changed. Not an easy task, the change rooms are crowded, and he's slippery, and his suit is sticking, and he's screaming, "No, No, NO NO!", and I'm mortified.  I'm embarrassed, and angry, and I just want to get out of there. I can feel people watching us. I can hear the whispers. In the midst of all this chaos, I'm still "calm"(although I must be red as a plum because I blush when I'm embarrassed). I'm just focused on escaping, when I feel a hand on my shoulder and a women's voice in my ear,

"Its okay, we've all been there."

I muster a small smile, finish getting our boots on, and drag K out of there. It was a very sweet, genuine gesture, and I appreciated it. But as I climbed into the car, completely defeated, K still yelling, I broke down and had my own little tantrum. I cried the whole ride home. Lucky James, what a day to come to swimming!!

Apparently tantrums come at all ages, and as much as "We've all been there" it certainly doesn't feel like that in the moment. In the moment it feels like all eyes are on you. It feels like you must be lacking some fundamental parenting skill. In the moment it just feels bad.

Today will be better.... I hope

Who Needs Toys When You Have A Bucket?

I swear my kids have more toys than anyone I know. They are spoiled rotten. K has every train that has ever been on the Island of Sodor, some of them in duplicate. This Christmas we were all spoiled blessed with an abundance of gifts from family and friends...and really, James and I tend to "acquire" new things for the kids too.

So faced with rooms full of shiny new toys, what do my children think is the most fun? Why, the bucket that holds the toys of course.

They can climb in it

Push it

Put things in it

Heck, with a little imagination they can even become a turtle.

... Maybe next year we can skip the toys and opt for some boxes instead.

Another Moment with K

Ever wonder what its like to be in the mind of a four-year-old? Sometimes I wonder how things seem from K's perspective. We try to be pretty logical in how we talk to him, explaining why we're doing something or why he shouldn't do something. Today at lunch, he gave me a little insight into his thoughts, and I have to say, he's an imaginative little guy. He started into this crazy story, so I grabbed a marker, and together we wrote down his tale. The story describes what K says happened to him as a baby:

"A bad chameleon came to put me on the choo-choo train cage. I got locked in. Then he took me to cat land. They gave me cat food, I didn't like it. AND I didn't know what to do! I couldn't do anything! They did not have toys for me!!
They went around the block, and they pushed me in the head, and it pulled my hair.
Then, I was asleep in the freight car. The cage did not have a door, and no keys, and I wondered what to do...so I growed up."


"Did you ever get away from them?"


"NO! I'm still there, There are no doors!!"

Yeah, there you have it. He told me that story with conviction, and emotion. Perhaps I have a future writer on my hands? I think sometimes I forget how little K still is, because C's there and so little in comparison I expect to much from my firstborn. Getting a glimpse into his little mind helped me realise how far he's come (and how VERY far he has to go). What a goof. It made me laugh, hopefully makes you laugh too.

For My Fellow Scrapbookers

It has been SO LONG since I've scrapbooked. Before Christmas I was doing a house cleaning and was seriously considering giving away my stash of stuff because It's been forever since I've had the time/motivation to get some stuff done. But instead of rushing that decision, I went ahead and booked a night at Scrapbookers. I'm so happy I decided to make that date!!!  Just felt nice to be a bit creative for a change.

I'm a bit of a scrapbooking purest, I've never had any interest in digital or kits, but I did something I wouldn't normally do and picked up a little mini-album kit and by the end of the night I had finished an entire album, and was half way through the next. Woo-hoo! Here's a bit of what I've done:

So much fun. I think that despite being a kit, with the little bit of embellishing it turned out great. The best part was that I gave it to K and he thought it was super cool. He wanted to read it over and over, and then he read it to James, pointed out all the stickers and people in the pictures. It was rewarding to see how much he enjoyed it.

Thanks for looking!

Spring Cleaning

Ah, Don't you love a good chinook? Being from Winnipeg I can really appreciate a break from chilling weather (even if we pay the price with a headache!). I decided that in the hopes of encouraging an early spring I would shake up the blog's image to something a little more "springish". What do you all think?

Now, onto my topic of the day. All this Spring weather has got me in the Spring Cleaning mode. Despite my best efforts my house is a disaster zone 99.9% of the time. It occured to me today that I 've subconsciously come up with a cleaning system. My house is only really clean if I'm having company over. James jokes that we should have a party once a month just to keep our housework up to date. At all other times, the level of clean in my house is based on two facors: 1. How well I know my house guest  2. How clean that guest keeps their home.

I don't think it was intentional, but I've noticed it recently. There are friends I break my back over trying to keep up the perception of being Martha, and there are friends that I tidy for, and my family...well, you've seen it, you know my dirty secret.

I've had many conversations about it with James. I have about the same chance of keeping the house clean with my little mess makers as a fart in a tornado. By the time one room is tidy, they've destroyed two others.

Today as I was wiping finger prints off of cupboards, a happy thought crossed my mind. Maybe my friends are all doing the same thing. Maybe we've all entered into this mutual, unspoken arrangement whereby we all put on an act for one another. And if that is the case, I'd really love to hear about it. And if you are that amazingly organized, always clean mom (and there's a few of you who come to mind), what is your secret!!?? Is there a system? Do you have a maid? Maybe the secret is to clean your house instead of sitting at the computer blogging....hmm, I think I hear my vacuum calling.

A Moment With K

Adventures With Mr Mom: Instructions Required

James tries very hard. His boys adore him, and for the most part he is an exceptional father. On Sunday morning he gave me the one thing I want more than anything in this world...SLEEP! After two nights of sick kidlets, I was exhausted, and he graciously took both boys while I was lazy. He and the boys woke me just after 10am with a tag-team "kiss" ambush that reminded me of WWF, and after much giggles and jumping around, he watched them some more while I showered and got dressed. It was lovely. I very much enjoyed it.

Around 11 we left the house, James had gotten them dressed, we had milk cups in tow, and went to face the world. Not five minutes from the house both the boys were whining in the back, in a chorus of "I wants". That's when it occured to me, "James, did you feed the kids?"

"No," he replied, "You told me to watch them"

Sigh.

Ok Shan, This One's For You

Two weeks into the new year and despite my distaste for 'resolutions', I have been making a genuine effort at improving my lifestyle in 2010. One of those things that, whether I want to admit it or not, is that I would LOVE to drop these last 10 pounds of baby weight (can I even still call it baby weight 19 months later!?).

I was talking to my cousin yesterday, who has done an amazing job at prioritizing herself and has lost (and kept off) a lot of weight in the past few years. She might not be where she wants to be, but she's always moving in the right direction. She started a new program this year, and one of the first things they ask you to do is to take a "before" picture of yourself in your underwear. She told me that she was going to take a picture, but would only wear a full bathing suit, not underwear. I objected. This picture was for her and her alone, and there was no reason why she should have to hide from herself. Besides, it would be so satisfying to have that after shot, it would make all her efforts worthwhile. So yes, I opened my big mouth and objected, and to that Shannon said, "will you take one?"

Shoot, didn't expect that. After all, I'm not the one starting the program, I have no book telling me to do this exercise...how did I get dragged into this mess?!?!  What should I do? The only thing I could do, as an act of support I said I would take a picture too (deep breaths...no one will see it).

So Shan, I did it. I stood in my skivvies and let my new mac take two pics, one from the front, one from the side. And...it sucked. However, it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated it to be. This exercise in self esteem made me reflect on my body image as a whole. Truth be told, whatever my weight has been, the only time I ever like my body is in hindsight. When I was a size 4 I felt the same way about myself as I do now. There is a whole new movement focused on helping women learn to love how they look, for the Dove Self-Esteem Fund, to show's like, "How to Look Good Naked", and I think I'm gonna jump on that bandwagon instead of all the other stuff floating around designed to make us feel bad and buy more stuff.

What I'm taking from this is that whether I strive to become healthier or not, I have to focus on my only resolution this year, which was changing my perception. Fat or thin, I've earned every pound, and those ten pounds of baby weight was definately a good trade off.

So there you go Shannon, a public admission to a hard exercise. This one is for you!

Taking the Plunge

I was a big swimmer. I took lessons early and went pretty far, it was the one thing athletically that I was pretty okay at. For the longest time I've wanted K to learn to swim. When he was little, it was the tubes in his ears that held us back from registering him. In more recent years, K's terrible tantrums shy nature has made me nervous.

Last summer James and I thought it would be great to get K into a few sports before he started preschool. We optimistically signed him up for both t-ball and soccer. Long story short, K was less than impressed with either activity, particularly when it came time to join a group of 3-5 year old strangers, and we totalled 5 actual practises between the two 10 week activities.

Preschool has been great, K seems to enjoy it despite the large group of kids, so on Tuesday I decided to take the plunge (pun intended) and enrol him into swim lessons. As luck would have it, a session started on Wednesday and we were there. He was SO EXCITED!! He talked about it all day on Tuesday, all  morning Wednesday, the whole car ride up, the entire time in the change room, he was thrilled...right until the time when we were standing right next to the pool trying to find his teacher. And there it began, in the middle of all the smiling, laughing, exciting, loud children, was K, arms and legs wrapped around me like a spider monkey pleading and crying for me not to leave.

I was stead fast. Determined. I would not give in like I did at Gymboree, T-Ball, Soccer. No, my child would swim, even if I had to get in there myself. While the rest of his class sat on the edge of the water, kicking their legs and squealing with excitement, K and I sat outside the pool, watching. While the rest of the class jumped in, I negotiated with K: I would continue to sit on that step outside the pool and not move if he would stick his toes in the water. And to my surprise, he did. In the same fashion I convinced him to sit on the side with legs in the water like his peers had. And he did. And finally, 15 minutes into a 30 minute class (and with the help of a cute swim teacher named Ana) he took the plunge and jumped in.

From that point on he did great. He tried all the activites, floating on his back, going down the slide, he was actually the last one out because he didn't want to leave. Ah, success, even if its a small one. With any luck, next week I'll be able to watch from the viewing area, rather than being the one mommy getting splashed, and if not, oh well, we'll just take it one week at a time.

Resolutions

Ah, New Year's Day. A time to reflect on the year gone by, and to start making "resolutions" for the year to come. I'm not a big "resolution" type of girl. I think that despite best intentions, they are usually short lived and just set us up to feel badly.

Of course I've done them: "I'm going to lose weight" (the same 10 pounds I've been resolving to lose for the last 5 years). "I'm going to stick to a budget" (ask James how well that one goes). "I'm going to get organised" (well, maybe i'll throw that one on the list again this year...here's hoping).

In any case, this year I had a really interesting conversation with my neighbour (and friend) on the topic of resolutions. She said to me that this year she wanted to focus on changing her perspective instead of changing herself. What a great idea. I think a lot about how very blessed I am, a comfortable life, nice things, beautiful home, healthy, wonderful children. But still...I am always looking at what other things I need  want. Would an ensuite with 2 sinks really make me happier than the house with one? Probably not. Nicer cars, more expensive clothes, all these things are only going to make me less organised, less wealthy. So I think this year I'm going to jump on my neighbour's bandwagon and focus on changing my perspective. I am resolving to learn to appreciate the small things, the real things instead of the stuff. and in doing so I think that maybe I can also be more organised, more frugal, and most of all happier.

and losing 10 pounds...what the heck, I'll throw that on the list too.